Pretty English: Cream Teas & Asparagus

Yesterday, I made a super salad using one of the ingredients of the UK season: asparagus - the vegetable that can party all night and still look and feel fresh the next day (but only until the end of July). Something else I had this bank holiday weekend was another one of my favourite UK based things of all time, and something which probably cancelled out all the goodness of the salad: a cream tea. I had my first cream tea when I was 8 in Cornwall, and have basically required it in my life ever since. It takes several forms, uses several recipes and has caused several arguments, but as long as I can consume one several times a year, I am content.

There were a few things amiss with this bank holiday cream tea. The first is that it was intended to be a picnic, but, being a traditional English bank holiday weekend, the skies turned grey and the rain tumbled down in force - honestly with a kind of 'I'm slapping you in the face' force. The other thing was that the local supermarket we went to did not have any clotted cream; for me this is an essential part of this quintessential treat and makes me feel pretty ashamed to not use it. We settled for an extra thick double cream, which obviously was not quite the same, but did play a part in today's dinner.

My Asparagus & Pasta Bake was literally a concoction of leftover bits and store cupboard residents. I did not go out to buy anything to make this, and our slightly failed cream tea was part of the reason and even inspiration for it. The blasphemous double cream helped to make the sauce, and yesterday's asparagus obviously formed the, erm, asparagus. And I can honestly tell you, it was a delicious demonstration of wasting not, wanting not.

Asparagus & Pasta Bake

1) Boil a pan of salted water and add the pasta. Simmer and cook - usually about 12 mins

2) In a frying pan, heat some oil and add the asparagus and garlic. Stirfry and add the butterbeans and chilli flakes. Give it a stir and let it crisp and heat for a few minutes. Then drain the pasta, and stir through the asparagus mix. Squeeze the lemon over your pasta and mix it all in with a good dose of salt and pepper.

3) Make the sauce. Over a low heat, add the cream, the mustard and the cheese. Allow to melt slowly and keep stirring - you don't want anything to curdle. Add a good slug of balsamic and mix well.

4) Pour your pasta into an ovenproof dish and pour over the sauce. Top with a sprinkle of paprika, some torn up rocket leaves (they will go lovely and crispy in the oven), and as with all good pasta bakes (or even non-pasta bakes), another generous grating of cheese.

5) Pop in the oven for about 10mins on 175C. It will probably differ per oven, but so long as you have a nice crispy top.

The great thing about this is that usually, a pasta bake is something that feels immense and hearty, and so maybe less suitable for the pre-summer months. The asparagus, lemon and white beans in this, plus the non-huge quantity of sauce, makes it feel a lot lighter, and a little celebration of the English spring. I did say asparagus like to party, after all. And no one can settle for a failed cream tea. If yours goes awry for any reason - whether that's down to rain, or cream, or anything else - rectify it by making this bake. It will bring some balance back to your life!

Serves: three.
Took: 25 mins - 12 for the pasta to cook, and then another 10 for it to sit in the oven, plus a few prep minutes either side
Things that went wrong: only the cream tea. Its successor was a great success!

Superheros in Season: Asparagus, Seed & Brown Rice Super Salad

Did anyone read the Borough Market blog post by Ed Smith, about the super short but super exciting asparagus season which we are now in? I challenge anyone to read it and NOT run out the door to buy some fresh, English asparagus.

(Seriously... go... now!!)

Obviously, I gained a full on obsession about these funky looking vegetables after looking at the post and spent the whole day in overdrive about how I could work some into a dish for someone who is less than keen - the VT-BF. He's not really a fan of any of the vegetables, or the fruits, or the wholemeal stuff... but he is on a bit of a health kick at the moment, so I decided to pounce on this fact, armed fully with my spear-headed friends. Seriously - look at an asparagus spear: at its lean, flexible body, its greenness brighter than spring, and its face full of arrows that say 'I may look delicate, but I mean business'. It's the ultimate superhero of the food world. And that's how I came up with the...

Asparagus, Seed and Brown Rice Super Salad

I served this salad warm, but it would work equally well chilled.

1. Boil a pan of salted water and add the rice. Let it cook - look at the instructions on the packet, but it usually takes around 25mins. Do everything else while it's simmering away.

2. Chop the asparagus into pieces about 2cm long. Heat the oil in a pan then add the aspargus and garlic on a medium heat. It would be great to get a little sizzle going, but not too much - you don't want these precious things burning.

3. Add in the beans and the coriander. I used coriander because I already had some in the fridge, but other fresh herbs would work nicely too - parsley would be great. Then stir in the seeds, and when it's ready, the rice. Cube up the feta, and stir through with the salt and pepper, and a little white wine vinegar. A squeeze of fresh lemon would be great if you have it.

That is truly a super quick, super nutritious and super healthy meal. The Avengers should eat this, and stand in wonder as all the goodness of the asparagus works its way around their bodies. It's protein packed, is filling, and is a worthy example of healthiness meeting happiness.

Some people might find it a bit blasphemous to surrender the seasonal asparagus to this frenzy of other (GREAT) ingredients, and please - I agree that little needs to be done to these humble spears to bring out the beauty inside and out of them (have you tried it on a barbecue?!). But sometimes you have to work a little magic to make the fussier amongst us consume what NEEDS to be consumed - I should know, as I'm one of the fussiest.

Remember, asparagus goes as quick as The Flash, so make sure you snap it up before the end of July. It spends the rest of the year fighting crime in a parallel universe*.

*proof needed

Served: three, or if you wanted to do it as a starter or a side, easily four.

Took: 25mins - basically as long as the rice takes. Everything is super quick to achieve.

Things that went wrong: nothing - this is fool proof. Probably because it gives you brain cells when you eat it!

New Tricks: Asda Cupcake Maker

I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to cooking. Unless I really am in a rush, the whole 'saving time' thing is not necessarily a positive for me; spending time in the kitchen is a great therapy to me personally, and if it wasn't for those little obstructions like work and money and personal life, I would probably spend every day and night coming up with new dishes and just generally breathing in the surroundings of my 'safe place'.

However, because of my not exactly unknown love for the kitchen and creating new things, people kind of expect me to love the kind of kitchen gadgets that do things for me (think bread makers, ice cream machines etc), and henceforth buy me these things as presents. I'm not opposed to this, as it's my dream to have cupboards (plural) full of all the things you could possibly want in the kitchen. But when it comes to using them, I feel slightly hypocritical. We don't want to lose the cooking and baking methods that got us to the stage today where we have beautifully creative chefs and bakers creating unworldly new works of culinary art every day. It's not a hidden fact that we've all become lazier as a nation, and a little kneading by hand or manual chopping here and there might do their bits to not completely strip us of our being active and doing things for ourselves.

I'm digressing. The item that is in question today is a very pretty Cupcake Maker from Asda. I can't seem to find it on their website so I'm not sure if it's been discontinued, but I think it was a decent £10. This Cupcake Maker seriously played with my conscience. I have always been known as the resident cake maker, and have always delighted in coming up with these creations all by myself, using my own pale hands. So giving the control to a machine put me on edge a bit. However, any excuse to make a cake...

The first thing to note about this Cupcake Maker is that it holds 12 very little cupcakes, so if you want to make regular size you'd need to look elsewhere. It's a very cute size though, so would definitely be ideal for certain displays, or for littler eaters.

It can't be denied. Use was very easy - I just plugged it in for about 5 minutes to warm up, lined the moulds with some cases and filled with my mixture. The instructions recommended you use cases to line, to avoid difficult cleaning, burning of the cakes, and probably burning of yourself.

Then you close and wait. It recommended 8-12 minutes, but I found my first load were a bit underdone in this time, so I went up to 15 minutes. Make sure you test yourself and don't trust the manual timing.

And that's it. I burnt myself continuously when trying to remove the cakes - I'm not sure whether this was my own clumsiness or a downside of the maker or a little bit of both, but be careful, anyway. Obviously, the biggest problem with something like this is that it only makes 12 - tiny - cupcakes at a time, so you're constantly waiting to put in your next batch (because you definitely want more than 12 mini cupcakes, right?!). It wouldn't be very useful for a cake making marathon. But it could be handy to take along to a cake stall to replenish your stock on site - you wouldn't be able to decorate them, of course, but you could literally sell, like, hotcakes.

It was really easy to clean too. Just let it cool (which took a good while, fyi) and then wipe over with a damp cloth. So I'm kind of finding it hard on what to conclude here. Yes it was quick and easy, but I'm worried the beautiful and traditional method of cake baking is slightly threatened. Perhaps you'd better work out your moral stance on the ever changing act of baking before you decide whether to go ahead and purchase.

Very quickly, this was how I made the mix for 36 cakes - they were Mini Lime Cupcakes: Mix 125g butter and 125g light muscovado, then beat in 2 eggs. Add a wee capful of vanilla extract and the zest of one lime. Add 125g wholemeal self-raising flour and a tsp baking powder, then mix well and you're ready to go. If you like, you can make a syrup out of the lime: juice it, add 4 tbsp demerara sugar and mix up so the sugar dissolves. When the cakes come out, skewer them with a cocktail stick and spoon in the syrup. Fast food, baked goods style!

Oh, one more problem with baking such minutely sized cupcakes. It really does feel OK if you eat 6 of them.

'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' mug from the Harry Potter Warner Bros Studio Tour - YES I HAVE BEEN AND YES YOU SHOULD ALL GO.

World Food Night: The Eating

Unsurprisingly (or maybe a little bit surprisingly, given the specific foods I don't like), I LOVE a good food event. So finding one where the whole country could get involved got me a little bit excited. A while back I posted about World Food Night, and I am finally getting the chance to tell you what a rewarding and delicious experience it was!

As I mentioned previously, the concept of the genius World Food Night, organised by Refugee Action, is that everyone you invite to dinner pays for it, which then gets donated to Refugee Action to help starving people all over the world. You pick recipes from their awesome map, which is also filled with inspirational stories about where the people giving these precious recipes got them from.

I got a bit greedy. I'm sorry, I really am, but I couldn't pick just one. So I may have made three separate dishes. Oh, and I made a dessert too. This greed paid off however, because the stuff we couldn't manage to eat served for dinners for a whole week. I even froze some of it, so technically I'm STILL eating it. Hooray for world food! It was always my favourite aisle in Tesco.

So what did I make? The Cheese and Onion Pie from Lancashire and the Diruni Potato Cakes from Russia were gorgeous, had ample amounts of carb (and dairy of course, in the cheese) and were easy to make (get recipes for both here). But you know how ridiculous I am at sticking to recipes, so for the Sichuan Hotpot from China, I mixed things up a bit, and I have to say, the result was pretty beaut.

Sichuan Hotpot

(adapted from the World Food Night recipe, found here)

1) Marinate the tofu. Add the tofu to a large sealable container and toss in the soy sauce, Chinese five spice and garlic. Close the container, give it a good shimmy (you don't want to give it a vigourous shake as such, because this might break apart the delicate tofu) and leave for at least four hours.

2) Bring a huge pan of water to the boil, and add all the beans and the peanuts. Leave it simmering while you get on with the rest.

3) In a wok, heat some oil and add the garlic, ginger, spring onions, and chilli. Stir fry, and after a couple of minutes add the chilli sauce/paste. Finally add the broccoli and pepper, stir fry for a couple more minutes, then add to your bean broth, along with the red wine vinegar. Turn the heat right down under the pot, and let it all mingle beautifully while you prepare the last few bits.

4) Make the peanut sauce. In a very small pan or mini stock pot fry the extra spring onions in oil. Add the garlic, ginger, coriander and chilli flakes, and then the peanut butter, lemongrass paste, creamed coconut, and after mixing, the soy sauce. Mix all together so it turns into a sauce, and turn the heat right down. If you find it clags ups before you're ready to serve, add a bit of water and mix it in well.

5) Make the tofu. Heat a pan with oil and coat the tofu in the flour. Carefully add it to the pan and fry for a few minutes on one side, then turn over with a spatula to do the other. Be careful not to overcrowd the tofu  - do it in batches if you need to - and also beware of angry, spitting oil!

6) Serve, serve it now! Bring the hot pot to the table (but please be careful not to burn anything or spill boiling broth all over yourself - I nearly did this. It's VERY hot!) and serve with brown rice (or white if you rather), and the peanut sauce to drizzle over as you wish. The tofu can either be dipped in, scattered on top, or dunked inside and mixed with everything else, although you may lose the crispness this way. DE-BLOODY-LICIOUS.

I was about to say 'the best thing about this dish' - but there are too many best things about it. Here are all the amazing things about it:

1) It helped to raise money for starving people all over the world
2) It was a wonderful experiment of trying something new and using different methods
3) As well as being ridiculously nice, it also felt kind of wholesome - the vegetables, the warmth of the hotpot, the wholegrain rice and beans - it definitely gave an impression that we were putting something very good for us into our mouths
4) It was a very communal thing to eat - people helping themselves to the different bits was great
5) The leftovers made my life. The very next day I quickly boiled some noodles and made it into a ramen, which was unbelievably good, and I've frozen some to use as an Asian stock for something, too.

A very quick paragraph on how I made my dessert, as there is ALWAYS room for dessert. I first came up with my Caribbean Trifle when I got back from Grenada for the first time, and had some leftover Jamaica Ginger Cake (one of my favourite shop bought cakes, by the way). I always go on about mixing things up and substituting things in food, and this has become a staple example of me doing that. Slice up a Jamaica Ginger Cake and arrange it at the bottom of a deep bowl or trifle dish, scatter with some chopped mango (and banana and pineapple too, if you like) and pour over a more than generous helping of dark rum (spiced rum would also be wonderous). Next it's a carton of fresh vanilla custard, which you might want to spice with some ginger or nutmeg. Whip up some double cream which has been mixed with a little sugar, about 3tbsp dessicated coconut and even more rum, at least a shot, then layer on top of the custard. Finish with more mango and a lavish grating of dark chocolate (preferably from the beauteous Grenada Chocolate Company). Yes, there might be a bit of calorie in this dish - but we're looking for culture here, right? Just maybe try and beware getting a third helping.

I love doing stuff for other people, and helping to make a difference. But it's so much better when it's this fun and filling.

Although World Food Night has passed, I had to hold my own one late due to certain things that were going on. It's not too late to hold yours! All the details on their website.

For St David: Glamorgan Patties with Balsamic Cannellini Sauce and Chilli Samphire

Dydd Sul hapus!

Sorry, that was probably grammatically incorrect and spelled wrong. And pronounced in a dodgy accent. And it's a day late - this whole post is in celebration of St David's Day, which was obviously yesterday. The truth is, I've never much looked into Welsh culture or cuisine, and I have absolutely no excuses for this. Admittedly, the Welsh do like their meat and seafood, but I don't often see tomatoes in their classic recipes - and I do see leeks, potatoes, flours, seaweed, cakes and cheese, all of which are things that make me immensely happy.

So I'd really be a terrible person if I didn't attempt to remake the naturally tomatoless, and equally naturally meatless, Glamorgan sausages. Plump in texture and bouncing with cheese and herby goodness, these little balls of comfort just look a bit joyous. They are also an absolute pleasure for your sense of smell: as creamy butter marries a pretty chilled out leek, freshly cut thyme - which is perhaps up there with one of my favourite smells - converts your kitchen into a very tempting place. I realise I'm personifying the Glamorgan sausage a bit: this is probably because I'd happily be friends with it. It's also great for an interesting Sunday Roast equivalent, and I'm anticipating that once the weather gets a bit warmer you could take them cold to a picnic. It really is irrelevant if St David is about or not.

A few notes about my own creation. You will notice that I've named the dish 'patties' as opposed to 'sausages'... this was the result of a pretty big - but not lifechanging - mistake. I'm going to do my best to mumble said mistake so I don't look so ridiculous. I-used-up-all-the-breadcrumbs-in-my-dough-when-I-was-supposed-to-save-at-least-75g-to-coat-the-dough-in-afterwards. Yep. This means my final dough was less mouldable, fell apart quite easily, and did not want to become a sausage shape. It also means I had no breadcrumbs to coat my patties in. In the end I used plain wholemeal flour to do this (I thought wholemeal was more 'crumby' than white...) and the result was fine, but please try and use the recipe that I was supposed to, as I reckon your result will be much better that way.

I was also mega excited to find some samphire when I went ingredient shopping, immediately deciding that this would be included in the dish. I love the distinctive saltiness of this crazy green and it went so well with the patties - you could even  argue it was relevant, as it's seasalty taste could nod to the Welsh laver, if it really tried to.

Finallly, I have to wholeheartedly apologise. You should of course use caerphilly or a Welsh cheddar for this, of which I could find absolutely none. I used a strong Westcountry cheddar which worked beautifully but obviously didn't have true authenticity. It was still delicious though.

Enough talking - you should really make this dish as soon as possible!

Glamorgan Patties with Balsamic Cannellini Sauce and Chilli Samphire

1) Melt the butter in a pan and add the leek. In general you should use one whole leek, but mine was pretty massive, so I used about two thirds. Heat on low for about 8 minutes until the leeks are nice and soft and there is a comforting smell dancing around the kitchen.

2) In a large bowl, mix 100g of the breadcrumbs, the thyme, parsley, and cheese, then add the leeks when done. In a seperate bowl or cup, whisk up the yolks with the mustard and a good pinch of salt and freshly ground pepper. Fold this carefully into the leeks and mix really well, until you have a pretty stiff dough, that looks and smells like a glorious stuffing.

3) Spread out the remaining breadcrumbs on a plate. Take pieces of the dough and shape into little patties - I made 10 in all but if you want to make bigger shapes, feel free. Dip each patty in the eggwhite and then coat in the crumbs, and move directly onto a lined baking sheet. Once you've done them all, place in the fridge for a minimum of half an hour - I was lucky enough to have about three hours for mine.

4) Preheat the oven to 170C. The patties will need about 12 mins, and turning half way through, so place them in the oven according to when you make the remaining elements. Make the sauce: heat some oil in a pan and add the onion - leave to soften for about 5 mins.You don't want them to brown. Add the beans, give it a stir and add the vinegars and soy sauce. Heat on high for about a minute and then simmer for about 5-6.

5) Prepare the vegetables. Heat a little olive oil or butter in a pan and add the samphire, green beans, garlic and chilli. Stir fry for 3-4 mins.

6) Serve, serve, serve! Put all your elements together, ensuring you have some pickled beetroot on the side and a healthy dollop of mayonnaise.

I had four patties leftover - I'm going to serve them with hummous, halloumi and salad for a light dinner tomorrow.

Guys, the next time a Go Compare advert comes on, close your eyes and take a breath - channel everything into conjuring up your own vision for Glamorgan patties. Because they're friendly, comforting and excitable little creations... and they want you to eat them. Mwynhau!

Served: We took three patties each for two people, with four left over. Depending on your preferred portion size, you could stretch this dish to suit 2-4 eaters.
Took: About 20 mins to prep the dough - then there's the chilling time - then 15-20 mins to complete the final part.
Things that went wrong: Yes, I know I threw every single breadcrumb into the dough mixture and so couldn't make sausage shapes, I know! And I also couldn't find Welsh cheese. This didn't defect too much from the final product, and apart from my silly mistake this was a pretty easy thing to make.

There will always be Brick Lane: Valentine's at City Spice

One of the biggest tests I put to restaurants is to provide me with a completely tomatoless dish, that, maybe after a moment of bewilderment, is put together with enthusiasm and perhaps a little creativity. That's if there's not something suitable and wonderful on the menu already. I don't believe anyone should have to put up with something that's been thrown together with resentment or a second class finish rate, because my (or your) ridiculous needs are annoying. If they are in fact so annoying that simply nothing can be made for me in a style that's going to be nice to eat, I'd rather be told by the restaurant that actually, I'd better go somewhere else.

So with all this said, why - why - do I keep returning to Brick Lane? I have had more fresh tomatoes coming up next to me bhajis than I've chosen to believe. There is certainly an undeniable charm to the place (charm in the sense where there are people shouting at you from all angles to convince you to come to their restaurant), a neon horizon that welcomes you vividly to East London, and I guess you just can't beat a rice, naan, starter, main AND bottle of wine for a tenner (or £12 on  busier night).

It's not necessarily the best place for my nerves, though. I always get an intense trepidation that actually, despite my explanations, there's a big squirt of tomato puree swimming around in that earthy-coloured sauce. I worry that each dish is made in a huge vat and there's no resource, space or desire to make me something from scratch if the original recipe contains those juicy fiends. One day, my mind was put at ease slightly...

A group of friends and I got in the middle of what was very nearly a full-on fight between two Brick Lane restaurateurs, wrestling for our custom. One promised a cheaper deal, the other promised more - and better quality - wine. Being an already tipsy mix of English, Irish, Brazilian and French people, we opted for the deal with the wine and promptly chose our starters, mains, rices etc. There was no tomato served with my bhajis... I was in a place which heeded my plight and I appreciated that. Three bottles of wine later and after several debates with various people in the restaurant, the waiter offered to take us down into the kitchen! This statement, in my opinion, deserves much more exclamation marks, but grammatically I can only give it one. A Brick Lane kitchen! I'd heard rumours, the ones we've all heard that we don't want to believe. Greasy spaces, old, non-fresh ingredients, I'd even heard about one massive long kitchen that spanned underneath the whole of this East End street... and am delighted to say that none of them are true. The kitchen was relatively small, super clean, and vibrant with fresh ingredients and spices. The waiter challenged me to taste all the spices and guess them (I got them all right, FYI) and I got a little taste of a freshly made gulapjamon. I even stepped into the fridge. This, tomatophobes and tomatophiles, was a place which could very easily - and happily it seemed - adapt well-known recipes in a fresh way and serve them up to needy customer like myself. People - Brick Lane is the dealtastic, fountain of Indian food that we all dared to hope it might be!

This why me and the VT-BF chose to go back on Valentine's Day. The beginning of 2014 had not been kind financially and we were ready to treat ourselves to some cheap but nice food. Coming from the Shoreditch end, we settled for the very first deal that came to us, which was from City Spice, as the VT-BF was too hungry for banter. We've been to this one a few times and really enjoy it - the set menu isn't limited to your usual dhansaks, masalas etc, and the owner is great - I think he's been there over 20 years.

Unfortunately - and I use that word with all passion and seriousness - the food wasn't quite up there this time.It was the one occasion we chose to omit the onion bhajis so I'm happy to accept some of the blame. The fried potato cakes came up with a nice chunk of fresh tomato and tasted a bit school dinner. The aubergine dahl that I got was pretty nice, as was the beautifully fragranced pilau rice, and there weren't too many complaints to go with the VT-BF's Butter Chicken, but the wine wasn't up to scratch (I know you can't really expect it to be - but 'actual nice quality wine' was one of the conditions of that night's offer!).

But do you know what, it was Valentine's Day, we've had nice wine there before... I'm not usually so lenient but I'm happy to suggest this one time was a slight glitch. You should still go to City Spice, and all the other restaurants in Brick Lane, because... you just should. And that's a valid reason, it really is.

Would I recommend this restaurant? Yes, I got a tomato with my second rate potato, but this is one time I don't care quite so much. Yes, go - go now!